Back to Seven Corners!

Two weeks ago we were in Uptown supporting ALP.
Last week we were downtown with St. Thomas. Why didn't we post about that? We hate Saint Thomas students.

OK, we don't.
The thing is, a couple weeks ago Section B finally decided to publish the The Bar Review Weekly
We assumed, what with it being weekly, that they would publish it on a weekly basis- making this little blog totally obsolete.

Please forgive us for assuming others were on the ball.

OK- the drinking.
Yeah, you should definitely be doing work now instead of drinking. You should basically live at the library from now till finals or you'll never get a job and you'll default on your loans and you'll live in your parents basement or surf from couch to couch of more successful friends.
But really, is that such a bad option? Wouldn't you rather watch reruns on cable than work 80 hours a week at Faegre & Benson?

Just in case you're not convinced- bar review is close to the library. Take a break from studying and come get some cheap drinks while complaining about school. Then go back to the cave and study.

If you don't go, you're a total jerk face

This Thursday is extra special, and one in which non-drinkers can fully participate. ALP's social networking extravaganza is this Thursday at Stella's from 7:00 till 9:00. Don't worry, you don't have to own up to desperately seeking a date anymore since ALP is totally past the whole speed dating thing. It's speed dating and social networking.
Yeah, it cost's ten bucks if you register before hand or twelve bucks if you just show up day of without registering but all that money goes to a fantastic cause of sending 1Ls to party in Miami helping asylum seekers.
And for you drinkers, bar review is at Stella's as well. It's a twofer.

Once again, you can check out all this stuff on facebook.
ALP's Face 2 Facebook
Post Face 2 Facebook Bar Review

When you are a man sometimes you wear stretchy pants in your room. It's for fun.

¿Nacho Libre?
¡Claro!
¡Muchos nachos libres!

Some of us Bar Reviewers went to see Hillary and some of us have too big a crush on Dale Carpenter to skip listening to him for an hour (his discussion on a Burkian support for Gay Marriage was fantastic) but no matter who we went to hero worship this afternoon, all of us know Bar Review will be fantastic this Thursday.

Bar review will be at Burrito Loco.
$2 U-Call-Its from 9 on, and a free plate of nachos with a pitcher of beer or margaritas until 10.

Your legal memo will be done, come enjoy yourself before getting to far into your outlines.

Free drinks in dixie cups!

This Thursday at Preston's it's ladie's night, and it also happens to be bar review.
We've hit up every other seven corners bar for bar review, and most of us have certainly been to Preston's plenty of times (like you actually studied when class got cancelled) so it looks like it's time to actually go to Preston's for a bar review.

And really, we're not sure why this didn't happen a whole lot sooner. From ten pm till two in the morning ladies (and most likely guys in moderately convincing drag) drink whatever they want for free, as long as whatever they want is a well drink or cheap beer in a dixie cup.

Once again, go RSVP on facebook - you know you want to.

Can't go to bar review because you're too busy? That's absurd. You're legal writing research will already be turned in by then, and no one expects you to be coherent on Friday anyway.

Stella!

Are you sick of bar review right by campus?
No?
Well, we're moving off campus anyway.
Bar review in Uptown.

Don't go to Uptown because you won't fit in with the hip, the hipsters, and the yuppies? Well, there will be a whole lot of other nerdy non hip people there this Thursday.

Bar review this Thursday (October 9th) will be at Stella's Fish Cafe. Some people (most likely including the fatter of us bar reviewers) will be going early to eat some delicious food. If you like delicious food, you should join us a little bit early.
But we're pretty sure you don't care about the food. You care about 2-for-1 drafts from 9:00-11:00. And that's A-OK. Just make sure you've got a safe way to get your drunk ass home that doesn't involve your driving and we'll be golden.

Oh, and RSVP on facebook. All the cool kids are doing it.

Sarah Palin School of Law

Not everyone who wants to go to law school can be awesome enough to be a member of the brightest class ever admitted to an elite a top 20 a top 22 law school like we are.
Fortunately there's now a school for those with more spunk than competence, and one of the bar reviewers has gotten his hands on their brochure.

Brochure for Sarah Palin School of Law

Hiya! Some people have asked me why, at the same time as I am running for VP and raising five children, including a newborn, I am also starting up a law school that is currently accepting students for the 2009-2010 academic year. Well heck, America's future lawyers are hungry for a maverick to bring real reform to all the unnecessary verbiage and the due process that plagues our system. Here are just a few of the important ways that Sarah Palin School of Law will be different.

· Law students from SPSL won't be taught to kowtow to the elite legal insiders-- the hiring partners, the authors of those Restatements, and especially not those kooky Supreme Court Justices. We make up our own rules as we go along, gosh darnit!

· Traditional Constitutional Law classes bog students down with hundreds and hundreds of confusing cases. At SPSL, we stick to the fundamentals. We only discuss Roe v. Wade and strategize about how to get it overturned.

· Afraid of getting cold-called? At SPSL, we have replaced the outdated Socratic Method with the much cuter Palin Method. Instead of responding to a professor's questions directly, we encourage, no, expect our students to give a somewhat incoherent response on a completely different topic.

· We believe that eliminating cumbersome environmental regulation is key to achieving energy independence. That's why I am sooo excited to announce the hiring of current Vice President Dick Cheney as our Drill Baby Drill Professor of Environmental Law.

· We promise to keep our libraries clean. Law students around the country are being barraged by references to homosexuality and the like every time they open a law book, I tellya! You won't have that problem at SPSL, where even Westlaw and LexisNexis will be filtered to keep the minds of our students pure.

· Location, Location, Location! You may have heard about some law schools offering joint degrees, but because of SPSL's proximity to the equally prestigious Sarah Palin Medical School, our graduates will also be qualified to practice medicine.


SPSL may not have met the requirements for accreditation by those elitists over at the American Bar Association (God bless 'em), but you may remember a certain maverick lawyer who faced similar initial skepticism from her peers. Yup, I'm talking about Ms. Legally Blonde herself, Elle Woods. If you think you have what it takes to assume responsibilities almost everyone in your life has deemed you unqualified to handle, I invite you to join us.

Sarah Palin School of Law: Mavericks Wanted!

Who's afraid of Virginia Woolf?

It seems that diagnosed mental illness, alcoholism, drug dependency, a horrible financial history, and even most felonies won't make one ineligible for the bar... but writing for Bar Review might.

Plus, putting it here on the interwebz is the worst possible idea because it's bound to be cached somewhere and be permanent.

However, since section B seem to find Dean Keyes to be even more scary than she is attractive, it seemed Bar Review was destined to die.

Permanent or not, we'll go ahead and step up by posting here on the blog to pick up Section B's slack. Although publication of this Bar Review Blog is totally "anonymous" any of us involved are perfectly willing to own up to it. Further, we agree with many of the criticisms of last year's Bar Review. While we most certainly will mock or satirize nearly everything- we also feel that there's no reason to denigrate others or be crude for no reason. Want to participate in the mocking? Please do- send potential posts to umnbarreview@gmail.com

So, add us to your feed readers and/or add us as a friend on facebook. We can't promise to actually be funny, but we can promise to let you know where folks are going to get drunk. And when it comes down to it, isn't that what Bar Review's all about- fostering greater alcohol dependence in future lawyers? Thank goodness being a boozehound won't be a character and fitness problem.

Thursday, Thursday, Thursday!

Coming this week to a Bar Review near you: slutty undergrads!

Bar Review is at Sally's on the East Bank, officially it's from 8:30 to 11:30, but when has a Bar Review ever ended that early?

We're bringing sexy back

Stupid posts written by people who think they're funny are just fine, but what we're really all about is drinking.
So, to determine where we will be doing the drinking we are totally willing to take people's input.

Do you want to just go to Town Hall and Preston's over and over because they're easy (the joke here is on a tee, so since we bar reviewers are above that level of humor we're just going to leave it there.), or should we commit sacrilege and do bar review outside of seven corners once in a while?

The closest options are obviously Sgt. Prestons's, Corner Bar, Town Hall and Bullwinkle's. If we head just a bit further from the law school but still stay pretty close we could hit The Junction, Palmer's, Tracy's, Nomad, and Grumpy's (Thursday's are karaoke night there, but that may not be a bad thing. Clearly, none of us have heard Law Council members sheepishly feign modesty before singing nearly as much as we'd like to.) We could also do Tripple Rock on a Thursday night that they don't have a show. (Because there's no way any of us are paying a ten or fifteen buck cover to see a crappy punk band)

Some of these bars already have a decent Thursday night happy hour, but regardless of where we go, we are calling ahead to make sure we're getting a deal. Drinking is good, drinking for cheap is better.

Vote for your favorites! Offer other recommendations! Bitch about why we suck! Whatevs, just comment and we'll set this thing off.

1Ls Express Support for Lecture Series.

The decision to alter the 1L curriculum by adding additional 1L lectures and by having an elective available during the second semester has been quite controversial since it's such a drastic change from the previous curriculum that had slightly fewer lectures and no electives till the second year.
Despite the controversy the Class of 2011 has come out strongly in support of the program.
One section B student explained:
"I really like this new First Year Curriculum program. I feel really sorry for the 2Ls and 3Ls. I mean, a lot of stuff in these lectures were things they have to take in a class for credit during their third year when they aren't busy and stressed. I'm so glad we've got all of this stuff now without getting credit for it, but I'm especially glad they didn't lighten the 1L course load so they could add it in. I really struggle to find enough law school related work to fill the time as it is. I can't imagine what it would be like without all these lectures, or what I'd do to feel productive. I guess I'd just brief everything twice."
Students from other sections agreed with the general sentiment, though they felt that Section B would be better served by getting their act together and actually organizing a bar review than they would by briefing twice.

The lecture series component has, thus far, been extremely valuable to students. A section D 1L who plans on going into corporate law explained the practical career advice he gained from Professor Moriearty despite her lecture's focus on public interest law:
"During that one chick professor's talk about how she ran that clinic in Boulder or Berkeley or something I wasn't really paying attention till she said that thing about the law firm stealing poor people's security deposits 'cause poor folks don't usually have lawyers. I'm glad I caught that, cause man, talk about fish in a barrel. I wonder if there are any firms around here doing that? If not, it should be pretty easy to start one."


Last Friday's lecture wasn't just helpful in providing career ideas, a section A 1L explained that it also eased student's concerns related to stress in the corporate world:
"I realized that being accountable for the people who work for you was actually a noble part of professional responsibility and not an integral part of an executive position paying seven figures. I was really relieved by that because I was worried one of those jobs would be too stressful. Now I know I can just pat myself on the back about being so professional instead of being burdened under the stress."


Despite the widespread support, some 1Ls haven't enjoyed the lecture series, including one Section E student:
"I don't really like the new lectures, but I don't really like classes either. Mostly I miss orientation. Orientation was really good, but I just don't think it was long enough. I mean, how are we supposed to know how to brief cases after only being taught 6 different times? Briefing is hard. And are we really supposed to feel good about ourselves if we've only been told 35 times that we're the smartest and most qualified class the U has ever seen? Minnesota's the best place I got in, and now it's not even a top 20 school. If I don't get constant reassurance otherwise, why wouldn't I think I'm an idiot?"
The Bar Review interviewers felt it best not to let that student know all the morons are put in section E. We really didn't think he could handle it. It's not that we're nice or care about his feelings- it's just that if he got depressed and dropped out of school that would be one less moron below us on the curve.

Section E's dissent aside, it seems that students as a whole appreciate the lecture series. Another section A student seems to sum it up best:
"I love the lecture series. It gives me time each week to play the sims, and I'd feel totally guilty about doing that when I needed to study. Thank goodness the tech people got us upgraded video cards."

It's Bar Review Bitches

Section B initially dropped the ball, but fortunately it's now been picked right on up.

You'll find just enough snark here to be slightly entertained, but who are we kidding? You're just here to find out where to get cheap beer. And we will hook you the hell up when it comes to cheap beer. Kill as many brain cells as you can each Thursday because we need all the help we can get clawing our way up from the bottom of the curve.