Fortunately there's now a school for those with more spunk than competence, and one of the bar reviewers has gotten his hands on their brochure.
Brochure for Sarah Palin School of Law
Hiya! Some people have asked me why, at the same time as I am running for VP and raising five children, including a newborn, I am also starting up a law school that is currently accepting students for the 2009-2010 academic year. Well heck, America's future lawyers are hungry for a maverick to bring real reform to all the unnecessary verbiage and the due process that plagues our system. Here are just a few of the important ways that Sarah Palin School of Law will be different.
· Law students from SPSL won't be taught to kowtow to the elite legal insiders-- the hiring partners, the authors of those Restatements, and especially not those kooky Supreme Court Justices. We make up our own rules as we go along, gosh darnit!
· Traditional Constitutional Law classes bog students down with hundreds and hundreds of confusing cases. At SPSL, we stick to the fundamentals. We only discuss Roe v. Wade and strategize about how to get it overturned.
· Afraid of getting cold-called? At SPSL, we have replaced the outdated Socratic Method with the much cuter Palin Method. Instead of responding to a professor's questions directly, we encourage, no, expect our students to give a somewhat incoherent response on a completely different topic.
· We believe that eliminating cumbersome environmental regulation is key to achieving energy independence. That's why I am sooo excited to announce the hiring of current Vice President Dick Cheney as our Drill Baby Drill Professor of Environmental Law.
· We promise to keep our libraries clean. Law students around the country are being barraged by references to homosexuality and the like every time they open a law book, I tellya! You won't have that problem at SPSL, where even Westlaw and LexisNexis will be filtered to keep the minds of our students pure.
· Location, Location, Location! You may have heard about some law schools offering joint degrees, but because of SPSL's proximity to the equally prestigious Sarah Palin Medical School, our graduates will also be qualified to practice medicine.
SPSL may not have met the requirements for accreditation by those elitists over at the American Bar Association (God bless 'em), but you may remember a certain maverick lawyer who faced similar initial skepticism from her peers. Yup, I'm talking about Ms. Legally Blonde herself, Elle Woods. If you think you have what it takes to assume responsibilities almost everyone in your life has deemed you unqualified to handle, I invite you to join us.
Sarah Palin School of Law: Mavericks Wanted!
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