If you don't go, you're a total jerk face

This Thursday is extra special, and one in which non-drinkers can fully participate. ALP's social networking extravaganza is this Thursday at Stella's from 7:00 till 9:00. Don't worry, you don't have to own up to desperately seeking a date anymore since ALP is totally past the whole speed dating thing. It's speed dating and social networking.
Yeah, it cost's ten bucks if you register before hand or twelve bucks if you just show up day of without registering but all that money goes to a fantastic cause of sending 1Ls to party in Miami helping asylum seekers.
And for you drinkers, bar review is at Stella's as well. It's a twofer.

Once again, you can check out all this stuff on facebook.
ALP's Face 2 Facebook
Post Face 2 Facebook Bar Review

When you are a man sometimes you wear stretchy pants in your room. It's for fun.

¿Nacho Libre?
¡Claro!
¡Muchos nachos libres!

Some of us Bar Reviewers went to see Hillary and some of us have too big a crush on Dale Carpenter to skip listening to him for an hour (his discussion on a Burkian support for Gay Marriage was fantastic) but no matter who we went to hero worship this afternoon, all of us know Bar Review will be fantastic this Thursday.

Bar review will be at Burrito Loco.
$2 U-Call-Its from 9 on, and a free plate of nachos with a pitcher of beer or margaritas until 10.

Your legal memo will be done, come enjoy yourself before getting to far into your outlines.

Free drinks in dixie cups!

This Thursday at Preston's it's ladie's night, and it also happens to be bar review.
We've hit up every other seven corners bar for bar review, and most of us have certainly been to Preston's plenty of times (like you actually studied when class got cancelled) so it looks like it's time to actually go to Preston's for a bar review.

And really, we're not sure why this didn't happen a whole lot sooner. From ten pm till two in the morning ladies (and most likely guys in moderately convincing drag) drink whatever they want for free, as long as whatever they want is a well drink or cheap beer in a dixie cup.

Once again, go RSVP on facebook - you know you want to.

Can't go to bar review because you're too busy? That's absurd. You're legal writing research will already be turned in by then, and no one expects you to be coherent on Friday anyway.

Stella!

Are you sick of bar review right by campus?
No?
Well, we're moving off campus anyway.
Bar review in Uptown.

Don't go to Uptown because you won't fit in with the hip, the hipsters, and the yuppies? Well, there will be a whole lot of other nerdy non hip people there this Thursday.

Bar review this Thursday (October 9th) will be at Stella's Fish Cafe. Some people (most likely including the fatter of us bar reviewers) will be going early to eat some delicious food. If you like delicious food, you should join us a little bit early.
But we're pretty sure you don't care about the food. You care about 2-for-1 drafts from 9:00-11:00. And that's A-OK. Just make sure you've got a safe way to get your drunk ass home that doesn't involve your driving and we'll be golden.

Oh, and RSVP on facebook. All the cool kids are doing it.

Sarah Palin School of Law

Not everyone who wants to go to law school can be awesome enough to be a member of the brightest class ever admitted to an elite a top 20 a top 22 law school like we are.
Fortunately there's now a school for those with more spunk than competence, and one of the bar reviewers has gotten his hands on their brochure.

Brochure for Sarah Palin School of Law

Hiya! Some people have asked me why, at the same time as I am running for VP and raising five children, including a newborn, I am also starting up a law school that is currently accepting students for the 2009-2010 academic year. Well heck, America's future lawyers are hungry for a maverick to bring real reform to all the unnecessary verbiage and the due process that plagues our system. Here are just a few of the important ways that Sarah Palin School of Law will be different.

· Law students from SPSL won't be taught to kowtow to the elite legal insiders-- the hiring partners, the authors of those Restatements, and especially not those kooky Supreme Court Justices. We make up our own rules as we go along, gosh darnit!

· Traditional Constitutional Law classes bog students down with hundreds and hundreds of confusing cases. At SPSL, we stick to the fundamentals. We only discuss Roe v. Wade and strategize about how to get it overturned.

· Afraid of getting cold-called? At SPSL, we have replaced the outdated Socratic Method with the much cuter Palin Method. Instead of responding to a professor's questions directly, we encourage, no, expect our students to give a somewhat incoherent response on a completely different topic.

· We believe that eliminating cumbersome environmental regulation is key to achieving energy independence. That's why I am sooo excited to announce the hiring of current Vice President Dick Cheney as our Drill Baby Drill Professor of Environmental Law.

· We promise to keep our libraries clean. Law students around the country are being barraged by references to homosexuality and the like every time they open a law book, I tellya! You won't have that problem at SPSL, where even Westlaw and LexisNexis will be filtered to keep the minds of our students pure.

· Location, Location, Location! You may have heard about some law schools offering joint degrees, but because of SPSL's proximity to the equally prestigious Sarah Palin Medical School, our graduates will also be qualified to practice medicine.


SPSL may not have met the requirements for accreditation by those elitists over at the American Bar Association (God bless 'em), but you may remember a certain maverick lawyer who faced similar initial skepticism from her peers. Yup, I'm talking about Ms. Legally Blonde herself, Elle Woods. If you think you have what it takes to assume responsibilities almost everyone in your life has deemed you unqualified to handle, I invite you to join us.

Sarah Palin School of Law: Mavericks Wanted!

Who's afraid of Virginia Woolf?

It seems that diagnosed mental illness, alcoholism, drug dependency, a horrible financial history, and even most felonies won't make one ineligible for the bar... but writing for Bar Review might.

Plus, putting it here on the interwebz is the worst possible idea because it's bound to be cached somewhere and be permanent.

However, since section B seem to find Dean Keyes to be even more scary than she is attractive, it seemed Bar Review was destined to die.

Permanent or not, we'll go ahead and step up by posting here on the blog to pick up Section B's slack. Although publication of this Bar Review Blog is totally "anonymous" any of us involved are perfectly willing to own up to it. Further, we agree with many of the criticisms of last year's Bar Review. While we most certainly will mock or satirize nearly everything- we also feel that there's no reason to denigrate others or be crude for no reason. Want to participate in the mocking? Please do- send potential posts to umnbarreview@gmail.com

So, add us to your feed readers and/or add us as a friend on facebook. We can't promise to actually be funny, but we can promise to let you know where folks are going to get drunk. And when it comes down to it, isn't that what Bar Review's all about- fostering greater alcohol dependence in future lawyers? Thank goodness being a boozehound won't be a character and fitness problem.